2015 (seeds/growth/change/connection)

This 2015 recap feels deeply personal but it also feels so human. Why do we hide the things we perceive are negative or dark? The night time has no qualms about the relief it brings...the sweet darkness blankets the earth for a set amount of time and then the light reappears. We share our light, usually without reserve. My favorite time of day is sunset when the two intermingle and make out...my favorite people are the ones who don't hide their "battle scars." These things on my list shaped me into the new woman I am experiencing and getting to know. She feels more familiar all the time.

 

  • Talking with Abiola. Our first joint BIG interview for The Girlfriend Manifesto. We talked about manifestation, being a spiritprenuer, how to make friends, and much more. She has shared space with Jackie Collins,  Kimora Lee Simmons, Tamar Braxton, and now us...WHAT! That was a big energetic hug! We must have something in common with these amazing women if we are sharing "space"
  • Doing four CAMP GROUNDED's. I was staff for the 2015 season of Camp Grounded. I came into the mix in California (a long way from home) wide eye and bushy tailed and got my ass kicked into a deeper understanding of intimacy and walls and love and friendship and family and connection. WOW, wow, wow, big stuff.
  • I feel in love with a women. Yes myself but that comes later on the list. I feel in love with a friend from camp. Before you go asking any unnecessary question. I feel in love with her like you do a long lost family member, because that's what she is. She is a wife, mother, teacher, and my new OLD best friend! We drove for over 30 hours in the car together where I talked about things I never have before with another human. Oh this story...it's a good one and it's only just begun.
  • I released Conscious Creator App. That was a huge birth process and I have learned so much about my desires. Allowing vs pushing. Expectations as a client. Money. Worthiness and on and on. It feels good to be able to offer this tool to the world. I want it in #onemillonhearts. Now that the app is alive it has its own desires and dharma and I am in service to that dharma. As crazy as that may sound to some. 
  • First solo trip with my younger brother. What do I blame the lateness of this trip? Age difference, personality differences. Not sure what took us so long but it was fun, frustrating, and amazing. A trip I won from an essay I wrote about my Mom's soulful cooking. It made stomachs and souls happy. That's the magic of a mothers cooking and the magic of travel with your younger brother.
  • Found out a few family secrets that rocked my world. We all have them...the only reason we feel shame is because we have bought into the lie that things like this mean something negative or unsightly. But what happens when you fully embrace the mess...magic every time. Now it still feels uncomfortable, but my new word for uncomfortable is just NEW! it feels NEW and it has made me challenge some old beliefs... but that is where the magic lies, in my experience. (And yes maybe you think I have overused magic but me and magic are homies!)
  • Moved out of my house and started a new agreement with my beloved Zachary. Relationships are fertile ground for spiritual awareness and this has been where I have chosen to learn and bloom. Along side a man who has asked for the same things. If he didn't we wouldn't have magnetized. It's been one of the most HOLY experiences of my life, and family is family and love is never diminished (in the same way energy can never be destroyed.. it just changes form). Outward circumstances may shift but we all have a choice about how we react to change. My definition of family has drastically shifted since my Mom re-birthed back to spirit. It's so much more inclusive and when you allow yourself to love so fully...you take the changes and make muther'f'ing lemonade!  
  • Decided to say YES to a healing business that has been calling my name for many many MANY moons. More on this at it develops and forms.
  • Spent the last few months living into this brand new phase of my life. I hardly recognize myself and my life. Which has brought up a lot of stuff...a bit of clinging to the old...but a new awareness about exactly why. I feel alive, empowered, real, excited, grateful, trusting, and ready. 
  • Watched myself step more fully into my role as a leader and a woman with wisdom and love to share. I started a group called Moon Gazers and it has been going strong for a year of change, growth, and support for many amazing people in Chattanooga. I also ran my first retreat for 9 amazing women on the rise this past Spring. I did things that have terrified the woman inside that wants so desperately to stay safe. I rattled her cages a bit...and I think we both know change is the name of the game. It no longer means a threat to life but a chance to unfold into more layers of truth and self. 
  • Just a tip: When talking about what we "hope" for 2016 remember we create our reality. WE WILL CREATE 2016...it won't just happen to you. So tell the story as you desire for it to unfold and wait for the magic to happen.

What are your highlights and new knowings. I want to hear them. Share a comment.

XO,

Ayesha

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