Are You My Tribe?


Have you ever read the children's book 'Are You My Mother?' If not, SPOILER ALERT! It's the tale of a baby bird who has been separated from its mother and runs around willy nilly asking all manner of animals and machinery the question, 'are you my mother?' This baby bird has clearly had a concussion from falling out of the nest. But I'm picking up what he's putting down. Because more often than not these days, I meet people with the unspoken question, 'are you my tribe?'

We're all looking for our people, our kind, our soul siblings. The truth is, your tribe can be hard to find. Most of us have a default tribe. Maybe it's family or the friends we grew up with or the gang from work. But I'm talking about a community built on a deeper soul connection. The kind of folks that don't fall out of the sky everyday. The ones we spend our lives on a treasure hunt for and know without a doubt how priceless they are when we uncover one.

I've felt like something of an amateur anthropologist since moving to Hawaii. I'm Dian Fossey and they're my 'Gorillas in the Mist'. And I'm observing so many amazing people and so many beautiful ways to BE (are you humming Cat Stevens? "'Cause there's a million ways to beeeeee, you know there are!") They've all chosen A way to be. It's not MY way or even THE way. And that's okay. My life has been immeasurably enriched by getting amongst these groups of people and doing life with them for a time. But they haven't necessarily been "my people".

True connection with others is the hat rack I hang my trucker cap on. I have to keep asking the who, what, when, where and why of the times that make me feel most alive to remind myself of that. My tribe is the Who. So I'll keep disassembling my heart and looking at the pieces so I can see how I work. When you make your career path reverse engineering your heart, I suspect you'll meet many travelers on that long distance trail. And I would be willing to bet that a few will be your tribe.

Amber Gruber