Notes For a New Kid (From a New Kid)


When you move it feels like your entire carefully crafted anthill of self defense mechanisms just got kicked over by a mean kid. And there's your entire ant colony of quirks and insecurities running around frantically. You float to different "cafeteria tables" of people and then dart off to hide in the bathroom and wonder if you're even in the right school. 

And just like you might have once upon a time when you were in school, you wonder, "Do I look alright?", "Is the expression in my face saying the right thing?", "Am I ok?" 

You might introduce yourself to people that you've met 2..3..7 times. Not because you don't remember THEM, because you assume they don't remember YOU. There's this dusty part of your generally confident psyche that doesn't think you've got enough going for you to have staying power in someone else's mind.

So I'm going to say these things as much for my benefit as yours; 

• No one will remember that awkward thing you said three days ago that you're still sweating.

• You might have to try out a few cafeteria tables and that's FINE. But don't eat your lunch in the bathroom. This is clearly a metaphor for "It's tough to make new friends, but you have to be amongst the people to do it."

• You are ok.

• You are memorable. As in, worth remembering. If somebody forgets your name a time or two, remind them. But don't ASSUME that they forgot about you the second you left their line of sight. 

• And one more time for the record, you are ok.

Amber Gruber