When a detour is necessary. When life asks you to give yourself a change of scenery what do you do? Are you a part of the typical sad breakup story or have you risen to the challenge and discovered a way to breakthough to the other side of understanding, compassion, change, and growth?
Let's take a moment and define : A breakup vs. a breakthrough. A breakup is riddled with blame and it typically makes one person the villain and one person the victim. While on the other hand a breakthrough acknowledges personal acceptance and responsibility for being in any and every situation that needs shifting. So when life requires that we have a breakthrough with a person, job, or situation how do we navigate these sometimes rough waters?
Here are a few roads you could take.
The Burn The Fucking Bridge Down. Sometimes situations call for you to show your fangs a bit. Sometimes the bridge must be burned to the ground. You will know that the gentle way is not your road when you find yourself in a literal situation where you may fear for your own personal safety. You may also find yourself here after a lengthy time trying other gentle approaches with no inner resolution. There is a mindful way to burn it down if this is your situation. You can liken it to the ripping off of the band-aid. Something swift with only the words that are absolutely necessary to convey your feelings.
The Conscious Breakthrough/Uncoupling. This method may have gotten a bad wrap via Gwyneth Patlrow and Chris Martin but it involves two people taking a set of pre-determined steps in order to consciously leave a situation that is no longer working for both or one party. These steps are agreed upon and outlined by each person and a new set of agreements for the next awkward phase of breaking through. This way in my opinion takes a lot of heart, and willingness to encounter your own shit again and again so as to not recreate the same situation a mile down the road. People may joke about this process because it's not the typical way things are done. Yes, the end "result" may be the same but the road you walk to get there, the journey, is a much more pleasant and life transforming road.
The Dear ______ letter. Write it down. Even if you never mail the letter. Organizing your thoughts can be a very cathartic practice. It will prepare you for conversations that may be hard to have. There are so many cleansing things you could do with the letter after you write it. Burn it to release attachment. Mail it or e-mail it. Read it to the person in question. Keep it for a set amount of time to remind you of your resolve or decision about your situation. The most important part is that you write until you feel complete. Not holding back but coming from a place of love.
After I pick a road and travel it to breakthrough bliss (Disclaimer: the road is not always easy but the journey does not have to suck. That is a personal decision!), I am always reminded that everyone I encounter is drawn to me by my beliefs about life, love, business, or any other topic or area of life. So I am ultimately grateful for being shown something about myself that was hidden and made visible by the mirror of the other.
In Abundance + Awe,